Yesterday in various internet searchings I came across this NPR article about “women priests.” Now you may ask where the sacred monkeys of the Vatican reside, and I will tell you toungue in cheek that they live in this or that building. I will assume, like Cordelia, that you will gather through reason and logic that the Vatican monkeys do not exist at all. But women priests are another matter, I am not sure I can clearly explain the why they cannot be, but I would like to try.

These women think they have a right to be priests in the Catholic Church. They think they are being suppressed by an all male hierarchy. Why? I don’t know. We only revere a woman as Queen of Heaven and earth, show me the supression, please. As a woman in the Catholic Church I have never felt repressed. Rather, I have only ever experienced radical freedom and have been treated like a daughter of the Most High by the priests of the Catholic Church.

What they are asking is impossible. They can never be priests in the Catholic Church because a Catholic priest is Christ’s representative on earth. Christ was a man. And he wasn’t any man, he was the Man. Having a woman represent Christ, would be like having Emma Thompson play Maximus in the movie Gladiator. It doesn’t work. Not because Russel Crowe may be a better actor than Emma Thompson, but because Emma Thompson isn’t male. No ammount of armor and Hans Zimmer is going to convince me that Emma Thompson can properly represent a character named Maximus Decimus Meridius.

The Catholic Church takes this one step further. The Catholic priest isn’t acting out a Christ like a role in a movie. He has been given the powers of Christ, the powers to consecrate plain bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ. As a representative of Christ he mystically takes the Catholic Church as his Bride. He is to serve the Bride, the Church, as Christ did, and is called to lay down his life for Her. A woman cannot wed the Church, just as a woman cannot marry another woman, the relationship would be distorted and non-complimentary (for those of you that disagree this is a discussion for another time.)

I suggest to these woman that they learn how to receive the gift of being served. When a gift is given a polite person accepts graciously what is offered. The Catholic Church has been given the gift of the male priesthood. Women will never be priests in the Catholic Church because they are not men. Their “ordination” is illicit and invalid. And they shouldn’t want to serve the Church as men, they are not doing anyone a favor by trying to be something they are not. I suggest that instead of pitching a fit about it, that these women learn to serve the Church every other way, except as a priest.